Dear Spike
by PassionateDarkness
Summary: Letters from the Scooby's to Spike- Post Chosen. Not really angsty (only a little)- more funny ScoobySpike-ness. COMPLETE!
1. Dawn

Spike,

I think you would like this font, should you ever read this. It's elegant. You were always elegant in my mind. I don't know how a guy is elegant but you always were. You were Spike; simple as that. It'll be six months since you've been gone. Six months since I've seen your face, heard you laugh, or tease me. Heard you scold me, or try and get me to do something stupid. I'm scared. I want you to come back so bad and yet I'm scared. I'm different, Spike, I'm not little Dawnie anymore. I've changed and grown up and for a while I was a much better person. But awhile always ends doesn't it? You were my best friend. My best friend, who was taken away from me. Everyone leaves, you see, it's a thing in my life. Make me love you, and then leave me. You could have come home, but you didn't. Maybe you forgot about me, maybe I'm just some stupid little girl from your other life. Maybe your Mr. Polo shirt guy now and are reading this with all your country club friends who are laughing at how pathetic I sound. Or maybe I'll never give this to you. Maybe it will be my secret diary. My letters to you. Life is different since you left. Really different. None of us are together anymore. Will and Kennedy are in New York, Buffy's in Italy, and Xander's brooding so much he'd give Angel a run for his money. I'm alone, again. Because your gone, like everyone else. I just want one more Spike

hug. Just one more. I have such fears that if you came back you'd hate me. You'd hate this thing that I've become. I'm a thing now. I don't feel, I'm numb all over. I hope you're happy. I hope when you think back on me, you remember the good me not the bad. You remember our insane antics during the commercials when Passions was on? I start school tomorrow. I don't know what it will be like without you. I don't remember your face anymore. Pictures aren't the same. They aren't you. Maybe I've created a made up person in my head, and you never existed. Maybe wherever you are you think I don't care. I still have your duster, you know? I still curl up in it at night and pretend everything's ok. I don't care. I don't care how damn dramatic it was I want to turn back time. I want to go back, back to when I could change all this.

Back to when I wasn't dead inside.

I love you, Spike.

-Dawn


	2. Buffy, Willow, Xander

_Spike,_

_ I wish…I wish that you hadn't taken the amulet. I wish that when I told you I loved you, you hadn't denied it…because then maybe I could have convinced myself that I really did love you. You are an amazing person/vampire, Spike. I never thought that I would come to love, even as just a friend, someone who initially tried to kill me. Spike, you saved the world. And you saved Dawn, and for that I will be forever grateful to you. She misses you, more then you'll ever know. I can see it in her eyes when I go to visit her, that far away distant look. She loved you, Spike; I really think she did. In a way I think all of us did. _

_-Buffy_

_Spike, _

_ I never thought I would miss you. You were always the one who would complicate things, who would turn things into something more dramatic and yet you probably saved all of us. You showed Buffy she was human, you loved Dawn when no one else was there, you showed us a side of Giles that was a little un-British-like. When I first met you, you were just another big bad that Buffy would kill and forget. I never knew as I cowered, yes cowered, in that janitors closet that you would in turn, save every single one of us. I miss hearing your British slang and the way you insisted on calling me "red". There is one picture that will forever stay with me; when Buffy died to save the world. The look of complete pain on your face has stuck with me since that day. It wasn't your fault, Spike. None of it was your fault and as much as I wanted to blame you, just to blame someone besides me, it wasn't. It never was. You saved us, Spike, you saved every last one of us. Even Xander, though he'll never admit it. _

_Love,_

_Red (Willow) _

_Dead Boy Junior,_

_ I wouldn't even be writing this if Dawn hadn't given me the puppy dog eyes and promised to do the snoopy dance. You should see her; all grown up the Dawnster is. Beautiful too, don't tell Buffy I ever said that, but she is. Smart too, makes me feel real stupid most of the time. I think she knows more languages then Giles does. It's kinda scary. I hope you're in heaven with Anya. Last thing we need is her talking to God about the capitalist advantages to sex. Take care of her…tell her I love her…I'll always love her. Thanks, Spike…for everything. _

_-Xander _


	3. Giles

Spike,

Dawn truly has too much power over us these days. First she roped Xander and now me into writing this absurd letter to you; which I am half sure you will never read. Half sure only because Buffy has defied death about twenty times now. New watchers council is being set up; even scarier is that they put me as the head of it. I have to say; they don't approve of chaining disobedient slayers in bathtubs. Passions was canceled; don't cry now. On behalf of you I sent of letter containing many of your favorite obscenities to the producers. I signed it- William the Bloody. I never liked you. I'm quite sure you knew and know that. People seem to believe that being British automatically means you have a stick up your arse; any stick up my arse was firmly placed their by our favorite slayer (who if she isn't trying to save me, is almost giving me a heart attack). Dating some bloke named the Immortal. Have to say I dislike him almost as much as I did you. Almost. Bloody ingrate, if you ask me. Dawn doesn't like him either. Every time him and Buffy leave together she cracks one joke or another about how Buffy's a reverse petifile; dating guys a hundred times her age. She's doing better. O.k. that's a lie. She's worse, Spike, she misses you. It's quite amusing actually. Andrew seems to be infatuated with her; and she just laughs and walks away. Still hung up on you, always was. I'm terrified for her…sometimes…I wish that you hadn't died. Just for her sake of course, lord knows I wouldn't want to face your wrath when you heard that Passions was being canceled.

-Rupert Giles

A/n: Just a quick one. Who else do you want to see letters from? Gimmie a request and I'll give it to you. Oh and about Spike finding the letters; just wait and see.


	4. Andrew

Dear Spike,

It has been a very hard task taking over for you as the "Big Bad"; but (if I do say so myself) I am doing a mighty fine job. I hope you do not mind that Dawn and me have a "thing" now. I realize that you and her have a history; but being the reigning bad ass at the moment, it was hard to keep her off of me. The Scoobys are all in denial about our blooming relationship. They seem to believe that Dawn isn't interested. Pshaw, she is simply playing hard to get. As Faith, the Vampyre slayer would say; make 'em sweat before you go in for the kill. Of course I would never kill Dawn; I might be bad but I'm not that bad. Anywho, as much as I try I haven't been able to completely fill your space here…and I seem to wish that you would miraculously pull a Buffy and come back to life. Even if you did though, just to warn you, you have some serious competition. After all, I am the reigning Big Bad.

-Andrew

A/n: O.k. One chapter left of this. Dare I turn this into a full story? Like the aftermath of the letters? A sequel of some sort…review and tell me if you're interested!

-P.d.


	5. Content

A/n: In one of the reviews someone asked if this was going to be Spuffy. I have to say very bluntly; no. Did I give off the impression that it was going to be? If I did, I'm sorry…I didn't even realize.

ENJOY!

Spike was never a sentimental person; not as a human and certainly not as a vampire. He never attached himself to mortals. Mortals die and in their wake leave a heart broken vampire. He never knew just how much he cared for the Scoobys until Buffy jumped. He had gone into the battle with the set knowledge of how it would end. Not how he thought it would end, or how he wanted it to end; how it had to end. Everyone, even the Whelp, had to come out alive. And yet, as he watched the heroine fall, he still held onto that thought. As he watched her give her life for the world that had damned them all; he still clutched that thought.

Then it shattered. Everything shattered. All of the set rules he had made for himself, all the evil still left in him, all the will to live. She flew, flew with her arms outstretched into the swirling colors. Colors that reminded him of her eyes; the flash of emotion, the trace of a smile, the golden hair. He loved her. He honestly did. But there is a difference between loving and being in love; and after living for as long as he had, he had yet to determine a line. A set line between friendship and love; a set line between heart and mind; a set line between him and Buffy. The shattered pieces cut at his skin, drawing just enough blood to sting. Tears like fire fell from ice-cold eyes as he held her broken body.

It took all of his strength not to give up after that day; but he couldn't give up, not when there was a little girl who depended on him. Dawn, sweet innocent Dawn, who treated him like a human. When those bright eyes landed on him, he almost believed that he wasn't the monster everyone had convinced him he was. Then Buffy came back; and the wave of emotions came rushing threw him. He clung to her, convincing himself that everything was ok. That someone finally loved him. It was to late when he realized his mistake. Buffy threw him away, tossed him to the side, and the eyes that once looked at him with love glared of hate. He had let the one person who ever truly love him fade away and he despised himself for it. He felt a tear slip down his cheek, landing on the cover of the leather diary in his lap. Andrew, who after finding out he was still alive, had mailed him the letters, all of which caused his heart to break. He skimmed threw them again, his eyes memorizing every word of every letter. He felt anger, and extreme sadness, and finally a sense of contentment. Maybe he wasn't a complete waste of time after all. He went to close the book, only to drop it. He frowned as a piece of paper fell out.

Spike,

I didn't paste this in the book for three simple reasons. A) Andrew is a snoop and would have found it B) I ran out of paste and C) It's a lot easier to know that I never really have to give this to you. It's easier to know that if you ever show up again I can just slip it into my pocket and forget I ever loved you. I'm not talking schoolgirl crush, Spike. I'm honest to god head over heels in love with you. But that doesn't matter; because I'm just Dawnie, the Slayers sister. But I wasn't just that to you, was I? I was Nibblet, and Platelet and all those adorable nicknames that I miss so much. God, Spike, you never even knew. Everyone but you knew. And I mean everyone; even Xander. I can't stop thinking about you; you're like the plague. Always looming in my head. I love you, Spike. And now that I've finally written it out…maybe I can start living again….

Love until the end of time,

Dawn

The letter dropped soundlessly to the floor, blowing slightly at the swish of a duster. The hero ran into the night, leaving behind the tear-stained tissues and broken heart. It was finally time he got his princess back.

A/n: All done!! Should I continue it? Make like an actual sequel, one that's not in letter form? I'm sorry this took so long to get out; I just couldn't decide how I wanted it to end. Please review!

-P.d.


End file.
